Bearded Lady

I may have a rare disorder and be tagged disabled, but I am still a normal woman. At the age of 51, things are still working, but I know my female engine has to be a quart low on estrogen. I don’t have time for PMS as hormone fluctuations mess with my blood sugars and SPS symptoms. I also need to allow time for grooming middle-age peach fuzz.

I discovered a chin hair this week. Tweezers easily took care of the lone strand. I keep Andy Rooney eyebrows from sprouting, twin expressive caterpillars above my eyes.

I have been a willing participant in the masochistic ritual of lip waxing for years. When a five o’clock shadow becomes the “in” fashion for women, I will gladly part my mustache to apply lipstick. I have sported a few burns from overextending the hot melted wax over my lip line just to zip the brunette fuzz in a one-second ye-ow!

(A word of caution…do not spill melted wax in the microwave. It is hard to clean up when in a rush.)

A bald face can be more complicated than smooth legs…compliments of Venus razors and shaving cream. (Without SPS spasm and rigidity interruptions.)

Considering the rarity of my disability and the macabre fascination of a bearded lady…I will be easily recognized if I decide shaving and waxing are worth the trade-off for a showcase in Barnum & Bailey’s Circus.

Look for me:

“Whatever you do, do it with all your might. Work at it, early and late, in season and out of season, not leaving a stone unturned, and never deferring for a single hour that which can be done just as well as now.”

— P. T. Barnum, circus owner

Copyright © 2009


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